It’s amazing what brings people together. Sometimes commonalities might align otherwise very different people to become firm friends.
In the case of my son and my partner it might have been Destiny.
I’m not talking about the universe conspiring to join two people in some fated collision of souls. It’s bigger than that…in the guise of a video game. A game called Destiny.
It’s fair to say my 14 year old does a bit of fanboying over the Producer, who spent almost 20 years in the gaming industry. Though he moved out of gaming and towards advertising and marketing in more recent years, he still has a passion for video games, and enormous respect for the game developers in the industry.
Due to his background he probably has a more heightened sense of detail and design, and a respect for graphics, than a lot of gamers. Mr.14 of course thinks the Producer is a bit of a rock star.
Both my sons – 14 and 23, are mad gamers. One has a PS4, the other the Xbox One. I have no idea what differentiates the two consoles but there is much debate that goes on about X Box Kinect (the ability to talk command) and Mr. 14 is convinced X Box has better Ram. He concedes that the PS4 probably has better graphics.
Hmmm. When two tribes go to war. Incidentally, the Producer bought the PS4 the moment it came out (he also still has his PS3 and his X Box 360). Mind you, he’s also a PC Gamer. It’s in his blood.
Last week, the game Destiny was released on both X Box One and PS4. Whilst not a gaming chick, I respect that my gorgeous ones are more than a little passionate about it.
I’m about to move in with a lover that is a mad gamer. Who would have thought!
The gorgeous ones haven’t seen the Producer for two weeks, as it was Father’s Day last week. The kids are missing him, being children of routine and, I suspect, the Producer might be missing them a little too.
On Saturday the Producer and I were driving between his sister’s place and dinner with my sister in law (that is, the sister of my ex). Which seemed a little odd, but in some ways not. I’m still very close to her. Our friendship has survived the marriage break down which I’m very grateful for. She’s an amazing woman. It was lovely for her to meet my man.
Whilst driving, the Taurus called me. I have Bluetooth in my car so I can talk and I let him know he was on hands free. He needed to swing by my place with Mr. 14 to pick up school work. My kids have keys so it was cool to do so.
Then, since he was also on loud speaker, Mr 14 chimed in.
“Hey mum, is the Producer in the car with you?”
The Producer said he was.
“Hey! How are you finding Destiny?”
In that moment everyone else disappeared except Mr. 14 and the Producer who shared a conversation that only two kindred souls could. Theirs was a language not of the common people like The Taurus or me.
When they arrived at my house, the Taurus ended the call a little awkwardly and later I realised he may have had what I call an Ouch Moment. I’ve had a few in the past 4 years.
While my kids met his partner after he’d known her only 8 weeks, he sat in the safety of me dating people who never met the children (I knew the Producer for 18 months before they met him). I think he was relatively comfortable with me being a “single mum” while he was getting on with things. (I was by the way, having quite a great life – I just didn’t share the details with my ex, or my kids!).
What the Taurus heard first hand, completely not planned, was how much our son gets along with my partner. No doubt it stings a little.
When I started this blog and started talking about being single, I shared all the “firsts” you have to go through when your marriage breaks down. The first time he told me he met someone else. The first time I met her which was right before she met my kids. The time he asked me for a quicky divorce so he could propose to her on a holiday.
Lots of firsts you don’t have to worry about generally if you don’t share children.
But we do. So completely randomly, he had a first, in realising how close his kids are to my partner.
Ironically, Mr 23 then asked to join the Producer to his gaming link so they could play (of all things) Destiny.
And tonight as luck would have it, Miss 16 asked me if I liked her photos. Which photos I queried.
“Oh no, oh no!” She turned a whiter shade of pale.
“I accidentally sent them to dad…”
The photos she meant the send to me were photos of the Producer and Mr 14 mucking around. You wouldn’t read about it.
I’m sure the poor Taurus is feeling it but he’s had years to get used to the idea. Still, Sometimes we have to live it to know it.
As I write this Mr 14 is home sick from school and the Producer is at my house taking care of him while I’m at work. He offered which is lovely.
We are learning a lot in this relationship, the Producer and I. I’ve learnt that in taking off the rose coloured glasses I used to wear, I’m seeing the world in all it’s technicolor glory. The Producer in taking off his black blinkers is living a life with less cynicism.
I’m terrible at asking for help. I don’t like feeling needy or burdensome. I’m learning that the Producer has my back and likes to help.
Life is a strange trip my friends! In the end, you never know where life will take you, or how it will shape you. Sometimes it’s all in the hands of Destiny. Real life sadly doesn’t come with a game controller!